A Dummy's View of a Relationship

Everyone is different. We all have different perceptions, ideas, ideals and reason's for doing things. And so it is with all relationships. It is not fair to compare your relationship with your boyfriend or girlfriend with your friend's relationship with his or her boyfriend or girlfriend. Everyone has different reasons for being or wanting to be in a relationship, whether its for fun, or to just simply experience the feeling, and so on. However, in my opinion, a relationship is a very serious thing. Relationships are all about faithfulness and commitment...If you want to 'experiment' with other people when you already have someone, then what's the point? Why bother? A friend once commented that flirting is unfaithfulness - flirting by use of words is verbal unfaithfulness, while physical flirtation is unfaithfulness at a more...'tangible' level. In saying this, I think I can openly express my honest opinion that a relationship without commitment and faithfulness will not get you anywhere.

While you may have faithfulness and commitment, you also need communication and honesty. Imagine being in a relationship where the two people involved do not communicate at all! Sure, they don't play around, but how will they come to understand each others' thoughts, feelings, fears and worries? How will they know what the other wants and needs? This hypothetical relationship is of course an extreme hyperbole, but I think you should be able to apply it to yourself. Communication and honestly are two of the most valuable things in a relationship for you should both be willing and able to talk about your feelings and thoughts about any issue or situation. You should appreciate the fact that you know how your significant other feels about things and be able to compromise with him or her if need be.

Of course, those are certainly not the only things involved in a relationship. Trust is another key factor...to be able to trust each other and let the other person grow and develop by him or herself is important. Being a comfort and encouragement to each other is also an essential part of a relationship. But then, all the little things such as enjoying each others' company, understanding each other, intimacy, security and of course love are also important. Depending on the people involved, compatibility may or may not be an issue. Opposites do attract, and as long as you can both deal with having different views, then it should be okay. A lot of people are looking for that 'spark' and/or a connection with someone, but realistically speaking, not everyone has that. If you are lucky enough to have it, then treasure it and don't take it for granted.

And finally, an issue everyone wants to hear about...sex. A lot of people think that sex is the key to becoming more intimate with their boyfriend or girlfriend, but to me, sex is not intimacy, and intimacy is not sex. The virginity of a person is something quite 'sacred' and should not be lost or given to just anyone. Make sure that he or she is the right person, worth having you, and that you are completely ready to do it. Most of you will know by now what i think of this issue...but for those who don't or can't recall, then let me refresh your memory. For me, a woman's virginity is the greatest gift she can give her husband. Call it old fashioned, traditional...whatever, but I think that love goes beyond the flesh. If someone really cares about you, he or she will never pressure you to have sex, but will respect your decision.

For me, a relationship is about respecting someone's feelings and not making them feel bad about themselves. Its about minimising insecurities as much as you are able to, making the other person feel special, cared about, loved, wanted, needed and appreciated. Love and relationships are not things that you go out and attempt to seek out for yourself. Its all fate, so wait.

A perfect relationship is when you have all of the above including passion and romance. But, what if unfortunately, passion and romance begin to disappear from your relationship? Will love still prevail? Take for example these worst-case scenarios...Will you love, stay, be faithful and commited to someone who is crippled or sick? What if your relationship is no longer exciting? Will you cheat on the other person or leave them because they are no longer beautiful, no longer interesting and no longer exciting? Someone once told me that passion and romance is integrated with love, and that there is no way these things can be separated. What do you think? What, to you, is a relationship and what does it consist of? What is love...what is true love and what is being in love? One of my favourite quotes sums up what I think; "True love doesn't have a happy ending. That's because true love doesn't have an ending. A heart truly in love never loses hope, but always believes in the promise of love, no matter how long the time...and how far the distance..."