VICISSITUDES OF ADULTHOOD
BY: GILAINNE SYTINGCO

My mother often reminisces about how obedient I used to be when I was a little girl. Sad to say, this nostalgic mood is usually only brought about by the fact that she becomes so incredibly frustrated when I don’t listen to her. She is antagonized at the fact that there are times when I think that I’m right and she’s wrong, and then, as a result, make a faux pas.

Isn’t it funny how, at such a young age, we think that we can rule the world? Not literally of course. Reflecting back to a few years ago (maybe even to a few days ago), there were times (okay, I admit it…a lot of times) when I thought that I was smarter than my parents. This seems to be a common phenomenon. Even Mark Twain, the celebrated author of Adventures of Huckleberry Finn (among other things), once said: “When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years”.

As we grow older and (perhaps) move on to another stage in our lives, we realize that our parents have a lot of wisdom to pass on to us. Thinking back now, I wish I had listened to more of what they had to say about certain things. It would have saved me from making my own errors. Sadly it can also be said that this is an intrinsic quality of human nature – we learn only by making mistakes.

Perhaps then, this is part of the transition from childhood to adulthood. As children we believe ourselves to be above others (namely, our elders) and most especially those who are the closest to us – our parents. As we age, we begin to go through many different experiences and hardships. We are forced to make choices. Because we usually don’t listen to the lessons we have been taught, we make the wrong choices.

If you may, think of it as a chess game. As a player, one must move certain pieces. Move the pawn, the knight, the bishop, or any of the other various pieces, in the hopes of progressing across the board. Make the wrong move and it could cost you the game. Inexperienced players know this, and yet still carelessly move the pieces around, with no strategy as to where to strike next. Experienced players know what’s at stake. Each move is carried out only after careful consideration. Wrong moves are rarely made. With experience comes skill, and it is this skill that is flaunted during the game.

Using this analogy: when we become adults, we gain knowledge and good judgment. We realize the insight and perception that our elders and parents have, and the reason behind the lessons that they have tried to teach us become clearer. Some say that this is wisdom. Going back to Twain’s statement, it was he who was ignorant, and had learned a lot over the seven years.

I try to remember this every time my parents give me lectures, suggestions and pieces of advice. Admittedly, although I’d like to think of myself as a mature and wise adult being, I am still very much a child in a lot of aspects. It’s not easy to listen to wisdom that’s passed on to me.

Life is funny isn’t it? Because when we finally realize the value of the wisdom of our parents and elders, we also become conscious of the fact that this cycle will continue. To the next generation, we will be the ignorant, old-fashioned fools who know nothing. And yet, as cynical as this thought may seem, it often puts a smile on my face. Because this, after all, is the vicissitude of life…part of the transition from childhood into adulthood.